Liberating Motherhood – Welcome to the Purplestockings Movement

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UPDATE! And change to the title!

My book, Liberating Motherhood – Birthing to the Purplestockings Movement, is being edited as we speak, and I am preparing for rewriting process. It will be published later in 2016 by Womancraft Publishing.

Here is a little extract:

“The women’s movement has a long history. We have moved from ‘liberation’ to ‘equality’; from ‘mothering’ to the ‘workplace’; from ‘mother’ to ‘parent’. Elements of feminism and women’s liberation effectively tried to liberate us from motherhood or from caring for our families. Yet, for many women, myself included, becoming a mother – and mothering our children – can be a liberating and sacred experience. It can free us from something, it can free us to something. There is something about motherhood.

From the power of our bodies in creating life and giving birth, to the nurturing of our children and touching something outside the ‘machine’ of modern economic existence, we know the value in what we do. When mothering is on our terms, it is a liberating motherhood. Adrienne Rich wrote about mothering as experience compared with the ‘patriarchal’ institution of motherhood, and this is something I will return to. For now, I will simply say that when mothering takes place in conditions which allow us and our children to flourish, it can be one of the most precious times of our lives. Motherhood need not be an institution of inequality or self-sacrifice, if our culture had the will and decency to honour it. We can celebrate mothering, without reducing it to that dreaded sentimentality – we don’t just get one day a year. We need to speak about the joys, the benefits and the satisfaction in mothering our children; and we need society to value what we do and respect us in our work. For me, mothering was a liberating experience: I finally saw and understood the power of women; I was filled with maternal love; I had something beyond. I am not alone.

Yet, the mother in western culture in the twenty-first century faces a huge number of obstacles before her in her attempts to frame her life with ‘autonomy’ and ‘self-determination’: or, simply put, the right to live and control one’s own life. Mothers feel immense social and economic pressure to ‘get a job’, or feel the strain of ‘doing it all’.

When I talk about liberating motherhood, then, it is also with a second meaning: how can we ensure that a mother is free of constraints which prevent her from mothering her children? What are these barriers? How can she be relieved of conditions which render her without economic security or public standing if she chooses to care for her family? In other words, how can she enjoy the authority and means to direct her own life and the respect for her wishes and the choices she makes? How can we make sure that we do not penalise women for making the choice of caring for her family? What could we do to support women who want to care, but are currently compelled to ‘get back to work’?

Because for all the talk of women’s liberation, when it is predicated on liberation from motherhood, it is no liberation at all. When feminism is based on ideas of equality which ignore the actual reality of her life, her deep wish to care for her children, and deny the value of caring, a mother is in chains. We need to help mothers free and to free ourselves. We need to get going on liberating motherhood. “

How a Modern Day Village is Helping Me Raise My Child

I totally agree – online support is important and can be so helpful to relieve isolation. Yet real life support and connection is also crucial for mothers.

Maya and the Moon

They say “It takes a village to raise a child.” I’ve read many articles that explain how important it is to recognise that humans, by nature, are supposed to raise their children as a communal effort with their extended family. But in our modern day society, villages are pretty hard to come by.

I often close my eyes and try to imagine what an old time village of help might have looked like. Big houses full of people, laughter, good conversation. Children running around playing together. A big pot of soup on the stove, bread in the oven. It brings a smile to my face, at the thought. I imagine during spring and summer, children would be out in the garden, helping their elders grow the food that will be one day cooked up for them to eat and in Autumn they all go out to collect fruit for pies…

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